A missed miscarriage is a loss that your body did not recognize. There were no cramps, no bleeding, no outward signs that your baby had died. You may have gone in for a routine ultrasound, excited to see your baby, only to be met with silence. The news delivered by a medical professional, perhaps with a gentle tone, perhaps with a clinical one, was that there was no heartbeat, or that your baby had stopped growing some time ago. This is a deep shock, a betrayal of your body, and a silent grief.

What to expect physically?

Even if you had a D&C, which is often presented as a quick and clean solution, your body has still been through a medical procedure. You may experience lingering cramping, spotting, or bleeding for days or even weeks. Your hormones are fluctuating wildly, plummeting from pregnancy levels to pre-pregnancy levels in a short amount of time. This hormonal shift can manifest as physical exhaustion, headaches, hot flashes, or a general feeling of being unwell.

What to expect emotionally?

The emotional world after a missed miscarriage is often complex and isolating. Because there were no outward signs of loss, others may not understand the depth of your grief. You may feel a deep sense of emptiness, a void where your hopes and dreams for this baby once resided. This grief can manifest as intense sadness, despair, anger, or a pervasive numbness.

Returning to work after a missed miscarriage is not about "getting over it" or "moving on." It is about finding a way to exist in your professional space while carrying your grief. One of the most helpful things you can do is to be gentle with yourself. Recognize that your capacity for work, for focus, for social interaction, will likely be diminished. Do not expect yourself to perform at your pre-loss level. Give yourself permission to do less, to take more breaks, to say no to extra responsibilities if you can.

What other people get wrong?

Many people, even those with good intentions, will get this wrong. The most common mistake is the assumption that because there was no outward sign of pregnancy, or because the loss happened early, the grief is somehow less significant. They may say things like, "At least you know you can get pregnant," or "It was for the best," or "You can always try again." These statements minimize your pain and invalidate your experience.

Returning to work after missed miscarriage